Add "shoe sales" to my job description

This Summer the kids have been earning quarters for doing different chores and as a way for us to recognize respectful behavior towards their siblings and (more importantly) me. It has been working pretty well. There are times when they have to pay me (yeah), if the warnings have been given and the negative behavior continues. When they start paying Mom miracles begin to take place, their behaviors improve dramatically.

So we've been chugging along giving and taking quarters for a few weeks now and all the while I've been tripping over shoes. Shoes? Yes, shoes. Not sure of what the change has been, but all of a sudden the kids have stopped putting their shoes away. It really isn't a difficult task. We pull the van into the garage and right there in front of us is a shoe rack on the door as we enter the house. Pretty straight forward - shoes off, hang them up, close door, done!

So now the new rule is if Mom (that's me) or Dad find the shoes, we will take them away and in order for them to get them back they have to buy them from us. Yesterday, we were getting ready to leave for an afternoon at some friends house when I noticed Andrew walking around frantically looking for his shoes. Cha-Ching! Pay up buddy. A quarter a shoe and momma just made 50 cents!

Do ya think this is a taxable income?

Poop Economics

Kids these days just don't understand how to make a few pennies. Back in my day the rule was "penny a poop" and boy did I learn how to make money. Our little "Gus" was a good pooper and better yet, I was a smart kid. I learned fractions at a young age and realized that the pooper scooper could also cut poops in half and therefore one poop became 2 or 3 poops! Now obviously I wasn't a rocket scientist or I would have also realized that I could have made up any number because no one was going to actually count the poops to verify the amount I had picked up. Hmmm, the money I really could have made.... Oh well!

So yesterday, the rain had stopped and the weather had warmed up a bit so I figured it was about time I ventured into the mine field of poop that had taken over the back yard. I was having a panic attack just thinking about the amount of poop I would be scraping off of Mary Kate's shoes if I didn't get out there soon.

Bag in hand, away I went about scooping Beamer's poop when I flashed back to Virginia Beach circa 1984 and all the poop I picked up each weekend before Dad would mow the lawn. Andrew has done some pickup for me, but it is usually because I'm busy and the poop-bomb is in his baseball running path in the back yard. His pick-up usually involves plenty of gagging and whining and carrying on. Surely, I never behaved that way? I was all about the money after all. When all was said and done yesterday, I figured my kids could have easily earned a few dollars and even more if they chose to do some chopping o'poop. I wouldn't have verified the amount, but would have been mighty thankful for the job being done. They may have even been able to pull a thorn or two.
I have to look at the funny side of things or I would really drive myself crazy some days and as I've said before, I do tend to grab my camera to capture some of the crazy things. Last Fall, I was cleaning up the backyard when I came across Nolan's missing plastic frog. He would never be able to play with the frog again, but I had to take a picture of its final days....

Beamer does have a history of eating things other than his food. I've found star wars Lego's protruding from his poop bombs along with Mary Kate's colored rubber bands, broken balloons and the absorbency from diapers. This dog loves diapers. The dirtier the better and the absorbency actually continues to absorb and comes out a nice fluffy looking poop.

So aside from the money that the kids could make and then use to help boost the economy of the local 7-11, there are many a laughs and gags that can be had from pickin' up the poops!

I have now exceeded my use of the word "poop" for the day!

Simon Says "I gotta pee"

Well Simon says that ALL the time. I truly believe that his bladder is the size of an ants. This afternoon we had to pick Ri up from school and then I stopped by the house to wait for Simon to get home from pre-k. Simon hopped in the car, climbed over the back seat into the very back of the van to help himself to "one" Capri-Sun. Off we went to the allergist office to get Ri's allergy shot (only about a 15 minute drive). Riley was called back within 2 minutes of signing in, had his shots and then Simon announced he had to go to the bathroom. No big surprise. Riley took him to the bathroom and then back to the van to head home. 2 in-the-van pit stops the first at McDonald's for Ri, Simon and Mary Kate and then to Chic-fil-A for a salad for me. While in the drive-thru for MY lunch, Simon announced he had to pee. Really? Played this game before. "Simon we aren't getting out of the car. You just went and you are going to have to hold it for 5 minutes."

The crying and frantically grabbing at this pants begins (does that really stop it?). I patiently remind him again that he just went and we would be home in a few minutes (the calm voice was in over drive since at the same time I was putting my order in). Now remember I'm not dealing with a newly potty training child, he's been potty trained for 2 years now. Once we had pulled through the drive-thru and the crying calmed down, I actually thought maybe he finally "got it" and realized we'd be home soon. HA! Joke's on me.

We pulled into the garage and Simon was looking at me sheepishly.
Me: "What's wrong?"
Simon: "I peed my pants"
Me: "Why?"
Ri: "Well you told him too"
Me: "Thanks Ri, but I didn't think he'd do it"

OK so fine while using my calm voice, I may have said (very sweetly) something to the effect of "well then I guess you are going to pee your pants". I didn't think he'd REALLY do it!

Once he was changed and I was done eating, I went out to clean out the car and discovered that the "one" Capri Sun was actually THREE!! No wonder he had to go to the bathroom. I guess he doesn't have the bladder the size of an ant, but he just drinks too much (secretly). We'll be adding that to the list of behaviors to change.

Beamer's Sticky Mess

Yesterday morning I was full-throttle into the Tuesday morning rush when everything came to a sticky screeching halt! I had just let Beamer in from being in the back yard and he seemed to cower away from me. Very strange since more often than not if I'm moving he's right under my feet. As I was running to take a shower, I found Beamer "hiding" in his crate and he wouldn't come out. I was thinking he's either sick or he did something REALLY bad. I pulled him out and there was a familiar smell, but not one that would normally be associated with dogs. Hmmmm, did he get a hold of Simon's plate of waffles? He sure did smell like syrup. I ran downstairs and was reassured that Simon's plate of waffles had not been attacked by the dog, BUT the Costco size FULL bottle of syrup that was on the pantry floor was now 1/4 full and laying nicely on it's side (the cap was left inside the pantry as he was trying to drag this into the other room)....

Fortunately, for the dog and kids sakes I tend to have a semi-decent sense of humor about these situations and choose to grab the camera before reacting. Like the time I heard the Costco size box of Frosted Flakes being dumped on the floor by Simon. Maybe what I need to do is stop shopping at Costco??

So I ran upstairs, camera in hand, planning to snap a picture of Beamers sad face, but instead found him getting sick. DUH! A bit too much sugar for you? It was 9:15 and I had yet to get showered and Simon needed to be in Chantilly at 10:00 and Mary Kate wasn't yet dressed. After smearing the syrup all over the floor with a roll of paper towels, I grabbed the vinegar and voila! the sticky mess was gone. Beamers crate would have to wait until I got back.

I left the back door cracked so that Beamer could come and go as the syrup was working its way through ;) This I would find was going to be a blessing and burden. When I walked through the door at 12:30 he was running around in the backyard terrorizing the poor neighbor that was gardening. Beamer came running into the house and it appeared as though he was wearing some kind of camoflauge dog sweater. NOT! That "sweater" would instead be all the leaves that were not raked up 3 months ago caked to his body! Beamer was now a walking leaf pile. No I did not get a picture of that, you may use your imagination.

I won't lie, I did take some pleasure in bathing him and not-so-gently pulling the leaves out of his fur. Love this dog, but seriously it's like having 3 toddlers!