Add "shoe sales" to my job description

This Summer the kids have been earning quarters for doing different chores and as a way for us to recognize respectful behavior towards their siblings and (more importantly) me. It has been working pretty well. There are times when they have to pay me (yeah), if the warnings have been given and the negative behavior continues. When they start paying Mom miracles begin to take place, their behaviors improve dramatically.

So we've been chugging along giving and taking quarters for a few weeks now and all the while I've been tripping over shoes. Shoes? Yes, shoes. Not sure of what the change has been, but all of a sudden the kids have stopped putting their shoes away. It really isn't a difficult task. We pull the van into the garage and right there in front of us is a shoe rack on the door as we enter the house. Pretty straight forward - shoes off, hang them up, close door, done!

So now the new rule is if Mom (that's me) or Dad find the shoes, we will take them away and in order for them to get them back they have to buy them from us. Yesterday, we were getting ready to leave for an afternoon at some friends house when I noticed Andrew walking around frantically looking for his shoes. Cha-Ching! Pay up buddy. A quarter a shoe and momma just made 50 cents!

Do ya think this is a taxable income?

Don't mess with his Mary...

...no matter how much she stinks! I took Simon and Mary Kate on some errands this afternoon and then rewarded them with a stop at a McDonald's with a play-land. There was another little group of boys around the same age that were playing there. Simon and Mary Kate were happily chasing each other throughout the play-land. About 10 minutes passed when I heard the other little boys laughing and pointing.

Simon: "HEY STOP TALKING ABOUT MY MARY!!!!"

The boys continued to laugh and point. Mary Kate was oblivious to their teasing and went on about her business of flirting with another little boy that had just shown up.

Simon: "I SAID LEAVE MY MARY ALONE, YOU ARE BULLIES!!"

OK now I figure I should see what's going on.

Me: "Simon what's wrong?"
Simon: "Mom those boys are calling Mary Kate stinky monster"
Me: "hmmm, do you think she pooped her diaper?"
Simon: "ummmm, yeah"
Me: "well I'm thinking it's time to go 'cause she is a little stinker, but those boys should have not been teasing her like that and we shouldn't make fun of people."

Now this is where I am REALLY proud of myself because when I looked up, I saw one of the younger boys in the group wearing his sisters princess shoes and I didn't say "hey Simon look at the little girly-boy". Now THAT would have been setting bad example wouldn't it?

Poop Economics

Kids these days just don't understand how to make a few pennies. Back in my day the rule was "penny a poop" and boy did I learn how to make money. Our little "Gus" was a good pooper and better yet, I was a smart kid. I learned fractions at a young age and realized that the pooper scooper could also cut poops in half and therefore one poop became 2 or 3 poops! Now obviously I wasn't a rocket scientist or I would have also realized that I could have made up any number because no one was going to actually count the poops to verify the amount I had picked up. Hmmm, the money I really could have made.... Oh well!

So yesterday, the rain had stopped and the weather had warmed up a bit so I figured it was about time I ventured into the mine field of poop that had taken over the back yard. I was having a panic attack just thinking about the amount of poop I would be scraping off of Mary Kate's shoes if I didn't get out there soon.

Bag in hand, away I went about scooping Beamer's poop when I flashed back to Virginia Beach circa 1984 and all the poop I picked up each weekend before Dad would mow the lawn. Andrew has done some pickup for me, but it is usually because I'm busy and the poop-bomb is in his baseball running path in the back yard. His pick-up usually involves plenty of gagging and whining and carrying on. Surely, I never behaved that way? I was all about the money after all. When all was said and done yesterday, I figured my kids could have easily earned a few dollars and even more if they chose to do some chopping o'poop. I wouldn't have verified the amount, but would have been mighty thankful for the job being done. They may have even been able to pull a thorn or two.
I have to look at the funny side of things or I would really drive myself crazy some days and as I've said before, I do tend to grab my camera to capture some of the crazy things. Last Fall, I was cleaning up the backyard when I came across Nolan's missing plastic frog. He would never be able to play with the frog again, but I had to take a picture of its final days....

Beamer does have a history of eating things other than his food. I've found star wars Lego's protruding from his poop bombs along with Mary Kate's colored rubber bands, broken balloons and the absorbency from diapers. This dog loves diapers. The dirtier the better and the absorbency actually continues to absorb and comes out a nice fluffy looking poop.

So aside from the money that the kids could make and then use to help boost the economy of the local 7-11, there are many a laughs and gags that can be had from pickin' up the poops!

I have now exceeded my use of the word "poop" for the day!

Clearly, I need to retrain these boys

We are having a lazy day here after a quick trip to and from PA. I'll set the scene of the latest conversation that reminds me I NEED to retrain my boys thinking...

I'm sitting at the computer in the family room, Hubby is at the kitchen table on his laptop. Before I sat down to the computer I had put waffles in the toaster for Andrew. Once I was all comfortable and "working" away responding to emails and checking in on the diet group , Andrew came into the room and this is where the fun begins..

A: "Mom, my waffles are ready"
Me: "And....? Can you not get them and put peanut butter on them?" dripping in sarcasm
A: "No, I broke my hands while I was downstairs" he said with an equal amount of sarcasm. Where did he get THAT??
Dad: "What about me, why didn't you ask me?"
A: "Because you are working"
Me: I'm now facing the cabinet with my hands up in the air looking at the ceiling.
Dad: "And what is Mom doing?"
A: "Well right now she is praying for Mercy"
Dad: "The year is 1952, Ladies don't bother your husband with your problems, because his problems are far worse......"
Me: At this point I tuned him out as he continued to repeat the email that circulates every few months about life in the 50's and how woman were to act.

So we all had a good chuckle, but it really does show me that the kids see very distinct roles here in the house. It's not that dear hubby wouldn't have taken care of the waffles or sippy cup, or bottom that needs wiping, or diaper change.... It's just that as a Mom who is here 24/7 and has always done everything, that is the role they see me do the most. I'm OK with it, but sometimes it's good to say "hey, go ask your dad!" I know for certain that if I weren't here this morning, you know if I was off getting my nails done, shopping and having a cup of coffee (WAKE UP MARGARET!!, you are daydreaming), the boys wouldn't have starved because they wouldn't have hesitated to ask daddy for anything.